Food Rant 1

I’m an unashamed foodie. As far as is possible I try to see through the anglicisation foods and get to the root of a country’s cuisine. Obviously, there are limitations, like I don’t have my own tandoor handy, so tandoori is only ever going to be an interpretation, but I will spend days trying to track down the right sumac for a regional Moroccan recipe. Pre-made spice mixes such as Schwarz madras curry powder WILL NOT DO! I’d rather make up my own masalas and use those. They don’t take long to make and reward you wit h a much richer flavour.

I avoid highly chilli’d Indian food as it’s not particularly authentic. Again that’s more of an anglicisation. The majority of asian cuisine survived quite nicely without the chilli, using black back to ad a fragrant heat rather than the tongue tearing chilli heat.
English curry’s, on the whole, are for people who don’t like curry; no, that’s not quite right. They are for people who don’t like food. How can you cliam to like something that strips away the flavour of everything you put in your mouth, replacing it with seething, tearing hate?

Asian food has so much to offer in terms of fragrance, flavour, etc., why fixate of the one thing that takes away these elements? Why turn food into macho bullshit? I used to know a guy who would go to restaurants and ask for a ‘Chicken Korma, Phal hot’.
Why? My experience of anything phal hot is that flavour no longer exists. Just pain.
That isn’t food. It’s a pointless endurance test.

Bastardising cuisines is a particular bug bear of mine. I don’t see the point and actually think it’s pretty insulting. A guaranteed annoyance is seeing things like “Chicken Goujons” or “Barbecue Kievs”. Why? Well a goujon is a cut of fish. You cannot have a goujon of chicken. It’s the wrong animal. A Kiev is a very specific recipe that involves no element of barbecue. Add barbecue flavour and it’s no longer a kiev. I saw a korma kiev the other day my partner had to physical remove me from the shop, such was my apoplexy.

And as for pizza? Jesus! The culinary dustbin! A proper pizza is a joy and mostly unrecognizable as what we would call a pizza being a peasant ‘leftover’ food mostly made of stale bread (think bruschetta and you’re along the right lines) what possess people to put what ever fashionable crap on them an have the nerve to call it pizza is beyond in. I’ve seen, Chicken tikka pizza, Chinese stir fry pizza, thai chicken pizza, teriyaki beef pizza and any number of combinations that has absolutely nothing to do with the Italian originals.

I’ve no problem with people eating whatever the hell they want to eat, but there’s a level of respect that should go with food that the Brits seem to have completely forgotten about. Chefs are artists. Those who create something enduring should be celebrated, those who change the recipe should have the decency to call it something else rather than ride on the coat-tails of the real creators. How did food become so dishonest?

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