The Curse of Channel One – Voyager Boobs.


Despite popular opinion, I was always very fond of Star Trek: Voyager and I’ve started watching it again on Channel One nee Virgin One. There are three distinct phases of voyager: pre-Seven of Nine, pre-Naomi Wildman and, “oh no not another Naomi Wildman Episode”.

But this isn’t really what I want to talk about.

Is anyone else having problems with Channel One? The signal seems to be extremely compressed and causes some weird effects to be displayed when watching live. What seems to be happening is that whenever there is a dark scene (which happens a lot in Voyager), the picture doesn’t fully refresh and the TV gets confused as to where the edges of objects are.

Rather disturbingly, it’s most noticeable on Seven of Nine’s Boobs. More times that I care to count, Seven of Nine’s boobs have stayed stock still and the rest of her body has rotated round them. It occasionally happens with Janeways face, her head revolving around her features and it could be happening to Chakotay, although given the wooden expression normally, it’s difficult to tell.

But Jeri Ryan’s pneumatic boobs were disturbing enough without having this extra level of weird. Maybe she has borg boob implants and they’re doing some energy scans or something. They should be checking for structural integrity and other anomalies cause that ain’t right.

I always suspected boobs had a life of their own. Brrrrrr 😦

So why would Channel One sabotage their own output by transmitting such an appalling signal? And why the rebranding to Channel One? It’s an awfully generic name. Are they trying to steal BBC ones thunder? Are they sudden’y embarrassed by ‘Virgin’? How strange to disassociated yourself with one of the most recognisable brands in the UK.

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