Pub Food Travesties (1) – Starry Gazy Pie – Starry Gazy Pie

I love Starry Gazy Pie. It’s a traditional Cornish pie, which, as you may or may not know, has the heads of the fish cooked beneath the pastry poking through it to ‘gaze at the stars’.
While on holiday, Andy and I went for a pub meal and on the menu we saw ‘Starry Gazy Pie’.  Odd for Norfolk, I thought, but it turned out it was a chain pub and the menu was probably in countless pubs up and down the country.  No matter, lets give it a look:
“The unique feature of the Cornish starry gazy pie’, says the blurb, ‘is they usually have fishheads protruding from the top so they appear to be gazing skyward. 
So far, so good:
“We think you are worth way more than these fish and have opted for a whole Scottish Langoustine, instead.”
What?
You’ve defined what a Starry Gazy Pie is and then completely changed it?  Why?
If you don’t the heads of the fish showing, don’t do Starry Gazy Pie!   If you are going to replace the major constituent of a classic pie, call it something else!   Don’t insult an entire county by calling it Starry Gazy Pie and then replacing  it’s uniqueness with something not only from a different county, but a different COUNTRY!  How much of an insult is that to the people and traditions of Cornwall is that?   You dare to call it a Cornish product and identify why it is unique and then state that the fish in it isn’t good enough, “here have a langoustine, that has some value” you patronising arse!
What angers me about this is that I can see some brewery executive marketing meathead sitting in a boardroom somewhere thinking “Fishheads?   Eyouw!   We’ll have to change that!   No one is going to buy something with fishheads on it.  I know!   A langoustine!  They’re posh!   It’ll make our cheap knock off pie seem luxurious!”
Newsflash.   Starry Gazy pie isn’t meant to be luxurious.  It’s peasant food, moron.  It relies entirely on cheap and tasty fish, not luxuries from the other end of the UK.
Get it right or call it something else, moron.

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