Some Randoms

I bought a bag of Maltesers after a particularly rough day at work. I ate 4. I didn’t want any more. This is inconceivable, or at least was a few months ago. If I bought chocolate, I ate the lot. In one go. Often without taking a breath. 

If Weight Watchers has taught me anything, it’s how to value food. I love chocolate, but often used it compulsively as a psychological crutch to make me feel better but until recently, I’d rarely actually *considered* it. Chocolate is a beautifully complex flavour that warrants serious consideration which you can’t do by sticking you face in a big bowl of it and inhaling. It really needs to be savoured.

I had a conversation with a friend of mine a while back about the music of Leonard Cohen. I love his music and consider myself a rabid fan but, perversely, almost never listen to him. My reasoning for this is that his music is so beautiful that it would be tragic if it became commonplace.

Chocolate, I’ve learned, is the same. Chocolate, so commonplace, is valueless; it deserves restraint and consideration.

Today, I went to Hotel Chocolate and bought and extraordinary amount of chocolate, mostly for other people, but there is some for me. It’s in the fridge. 

And I have no compulsion to eat it.

I think this is a major step forward.

The Maltesers, incidentally, took 4 days to finish. Not bad for a 37 gram bag.



*****


 had to buy some shoes today. I’ve got a nasty bout of plantar fasciitis and my doctor recommended a foot with a heel to alleviate the pain.

So I find myself in TK Maxx – not my natural habitat – skulking around the shoe section, select a pair that are, frankly, awesomely comfortable and go to pay.

Now the thing about TK Maxx, and presumably most clothing shops, it’s that it is rammed with full length mirrors. I don’t have any mirrors in the house bar one for shaving. i think this is largely because I loathe looking at my fat form. I used to be quite vain . . . well . . . a New Romantic and latterly a Goth back when I was slim and gorgeous enough to turn a straight boys head, but I digress. 😀

I saw myself in a mirror for the first time in several years.

I looked overweight, obviously, but here’s the thing. I was dressed in the way that a bloke who’s lost a lot of weight dresses, that is, as normal, but everything looked to big and baggy. 

It’s that transitional state between being fat and buying new clothes to fit the new shape. 

I celebrated by buying a new shirt.

Except I forgot I was smaller and still bought an XXL instead of an XL 🙂 Doesn’t matter. Donna Karan looks GREAT baggy 😉

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