Pacific Rim

pacific_rim_movie-wideI’m not overly fond of mobile phones.  I’ve got one that costs me 12 quid a month and I only ever use it for checking my email.   I rarely text, rarely phone people, or receive calls. It’s kind of pointless having one.

Maybe I should just cut my losses and ditch it altogether.

Wait?   What?

Oh right.  Pacific Rim.

Yeah, thing is, I was looking forward to this a lot. Gigantic Robots battering the crap out of Godzilla like creatures . . . i mean what’s not to like?

Well… the other bits, really.   Anything that wasn’t Gigantic Robots battering the crap out of Godzilla like creatures was poorly written, poorly acted, poorly directed and just heaped cliche upon cliche until you just zoned out and started having random, mundane thoughts about mobile phones.

Even the usually stalwart Idris Elba suffered from having to deliver dialogue that was beyond appalling.  I swear to God, that during one of his speeches – the big rabble-rousing one towards the end – he momentarily looks into the camera as if to say “cut”.  He seems to be unconvinced by the script and  unconvincing as a result.

We also had the worst triumvirate of stupid.  The two “wacky scientists” (one of whom was Torchwood’s Burn Gorman playing a character about 40 years older than he is and completely unconvincingly at that…and don’t get me started on the accent!) were spectacularly irritating, not quite in the “Ruby Rhod” league, but very, very nearly.   Their screen time was wince inducingly awful and as they spent most of their screen time bickering or being an irritating foil to the usually very watchable Ron Perlman, you wonder what the hell was going on in del Toro’s mind..

Charlie Hunnam’s accent is a variable as his expression is static and there is almost as much macho posturing as there is in Top Gun. Although it doesn’t have Top Gun’s screamingly gay subtext.

Add in some seriously heavy handed moralising about pollution being the cause of the creatures attacks (not even Toho got away with that one…I’m thinking of you, Smog Monster!) – not to mention the exact same ending as “The Avengers” and it all adds up to a “head in hands screaming Noooooo!” kind of movie.

My faith in Guillermo del Toro is waning fast, I’m afraid.  He seems to deal with the full on fantasy in his films spectacularly well, but anything more human and he falters.  Case in point, Pan’s Labyrinth. I loved the fantasy parts’ the dream worlds, but they were jarring against the civil war sections; tonally atonal and frankly far less well realised.   They diminish the fantasy element.

And that’s what wrong with Pacific Rim.  In isolation, the Robots vs Godzilla sections would be fantastic fun.  There is so much to love about the concepts of the Jaegers, Kaiju and The Drift, despite being recycled from Toho and Shogun Warriors and yet so much to loathe.

Such a shame.

It should have been brilliant, but we left the cinema feeling faintly disappointed and debating whether he really should do “At The Mountains of Madness”.   We decided not.

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