View From the Sofa – Post Rash Games and Socialising.

TURIN-SOFA-MOCCAWell.cat and zombie 2

That was interesting. And Fun!

It turns out that Sunday is a poor day for the pub in question.  Since they stopped doing food a few months ago, the average customer count for Sunday afternoon is about two. This might explain why the landlord was keen to get us into in.  And I was happy to help.

The games day went well.  For a couple of days before, I’d been ill, nervous and very, very skittish. I was in a bad mood and my partner was taking the brunt of that bad mood.

Sunday morning, I have a massive panic attack. I couldn’t breathe, I was in tears, I wanted to cancel the games meeting.  My partner, with infinite patience, calmed me and told me everything would be fine. Nearer the time, I took a valium and we walked to the pub.

When we got there, it was empty, except for the landlord. This actually made things much easier for me and I think that arriving early and having people turn up slowly actually eased me into a social situation much better than entering the pub and finding thirty people already there.  That would have been a bit much to cope with. But people arrived in dribs and drabs, we said hi and had a chat. In valium soaked host mode, got them started on a game.  About fifteen people showed up and it was fantastic to be out with people and having fun.

The were times, when I had to hide in a corner and take a few moments and this is the best bit, the pub cat – Ziggy – took a shine to me. I could calm myself down by playing with a very affectionate cat!

bandbThe meeting was announced quite late, with maybe three days notice.  I think this might have been deliberate to ensure that not many people turned up. Whatever, it worked, it happened, I survived. I had fun!   ACTUAL FUN!! The picture above was early in the afternoon with (clockwise from the red top) Jason, Joe, Joy, Ben, Andy and me playing Settlers of Catan. In the background, there is Stuart, Dave and a guy who’s name I can’t remember (sorry) playing Last Night On Earth. Elsewhere, Perudo and Judge Dredd were being played.

I had a bit of a wobble when we got home. And Monday was spent doing my usual post-trauma shaking, but it doesn’t matter. I went out and had fun.

Next week is going to be more of a trial.  That was my last valium.  I have no money to get anymore and twice the number of people have said they are coming for the next one.

Yep, I arranged another one.  Partly for me and everyone who had a good time last sunday, and partly for the landlord who was thrilled to make some money on a Sunday afternoon.

I can’t describe, though, the feeling of confidence and well being it gave just having achieved something that maybe even three months ago, I would never have considered trying. I don’t know if this the start of a ‘great leap forward’ or whether I’m going to crap out three weeks down the road.  I don’t care.  For the moment, it’s working.

Small steps.

With the second meeting in a mere two days, we’re off to Oxford tomorrow to pick up some games for various group members, the club and me!  Sometimes, I amaze myself!

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